Pez?

I am pretty sure that when people walk into my office they dont expect what they see. A matter a fact, i know this because it was said just yesterday. My office has wind up toys, stuffed animals and candy spilling over my desk. My take is that life is too short. It is over in a blink of an eye.  I will enjoy it and laugh and smile and find enjoyment wherever i can. I think its pretty obvious that is how I live my life.  So, in knowing this why would anything suprise anyone? A couple days ago while waiting in line at Wal mart, i spied pez dispensers on the bottom shelf of a rack in the check out line. My natural and first response was to excitingly say (in my head, of course) " oooo i love pez". But then my grown up side said "seriously? Your not fucking 10". As i stood in line with a box off Puffs plus lotion tissues for my sore and stuffy nose and packages of feminine products falling out of my arms (hey, i have a house full of teenage girls and i always REFUSE to get a cart stupidly believing i don't need one. I tell myself the lie we all are guilty of saying; Im gonna be in and out with only 2 items). I began the debate with my two inner voices. It was a very fast debate. I believe the childish side of me won by throwing a tantrum.  So, i bent down and looked through the rows of princess pez faces looking up at me until i found the one i wanted. The princesses werent calling to me. They had smug and pretentious smiles just because they were manufactured as royalty. Then i saw a plain little girl smile of what the package says is Strawberry Shortcake but i beg to differ. Thats the one.  So i piled my selections neatly onto the conveyor belt and carried them home. At work the next day, me and Strawberry Shortcake were ready to face the day. I decided to offer everyone who steps into my office a Pez. So when the unsuspecting victim walks into my office to discuss serious matters i listen closely. After hearing there request,  i pick up my trusty Pez and proceed to bent her little blond haired head back and pop one of the little candy treats into my mouth. As soon as i do this i tilt the dispenser towards my guest and offer  "pez"? This usually stops them in mid sentence. Then the question is who will win the debate in their heads?

I will not sit on an exercise ball at work

What is it about back pain that makes you feel like an old witch ? I dont know how i hurt my lower back, but i have.  Im not saying im old. Im just saying as soon as i hit 41 on Sunday,  my back decided it was really 85. I think it is counting my age in dog years.  The worst part is...i didn't do anything strenuous.  I noticed the ouch- ness after sitting at my computer typing for a long amount of time. I think i was a bit stressed too. Does that matter? Ever since that day o' work = pain. That settles it..it doesn't pay to be a dedicated employee. Do you think anyone would notice if i A.) Layed on the floor in my office acting as if it isnt odd or B.) I sat at my desk bent over like Quasimodo. I will refrain from calling out "Sanctuary!!!".

Road rage - (dbl R, i would so kick ass in scrabble)

I think, for the most part, that i am pretty kind and considerate. I hold doors for people and always remember to say please and thank you. I want people to know i appreciate them and care about them. Ok, with that being said...i do not happily submit to forceable kindness. I think it sucks when a person inches their way into making you be nice to them. This morning i sat in bumper to bumper traffic for 20 minutes just to get my daughter to school. After dropping her off i jumped right back into to traffic line. A young guy (aka dick head) in a huge black pick up decided he shouldnt have to wait. So...he did that pull out in front of you deal where the only option is to slam on the  breaks and let him go.  My reaction: flip him the bird. This is an action i highly do not recommend or even do. I learned my lesson in Chicago when my husband did it to a guy cutting us off by O'hare airport. That was a tense moment that i knew we were gonna die...except my sons innocent face in the back seat saved us from a gruesome scenerio.  Thankfully the dick head i flipped the bird to today drove on without retaliation.  I can not believe that reaction popped out so quickly.  I mean, a cursing inside my car peppered with words of profanity....yes...but a hand gesture? Sooo not me. 

Stealing kindness must be discouraged. It could save a life.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letter "R".

Nothing gold can stay

I am a firm believer in the saying, "you're only as old as you feel". I usually feel young and great..like I'm in my 20's.. alright.. late 20's. Dejectedly until 4 days ago.  I was blow drying my hair and I bent over to dry it faster. When I stood up I got the worst pain in my neck. I may have whipped my hair back and forth like Willow Smith said to, thus creating the physical pain I was encountering.  I stood there holding my neck in disbelief that just flipping my hair back and forth caused such fucking pain. Literally my hair was a pain in my neck. Now here it is days later and it still hurts like hell causing me to turn to the left like Frankenstein. Last night as I lay my aching neck on the heating pad, I dozed off watching TV. (yes....Like an old lady) When I was startled awake by a commercial that was way too loud, I took some vitamins and supplements and went to bed like I have for years. For some unknown reason my body DID NOT agree with my choice of Iron supplements. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. with heartburn and a tummy ache. As I lay in bed, I thought to myself "damn it, today I feel old".  Did I mention I had to have a baby tooth pulled? Now I have a gap in my teeth.  sigh, yes, its true. So, I can no longer have lotsa lactose, sleep through anything, drink liquor or dance like I used to. Matter a fact I sit here in a bent over sad and painful contorted position on my couch almost in an upright fetal position.  I say alas, today.. I feel 105. I will take my blood thinning 325mg of asprin, take out my false teeth and curl up under an afghan in my quiet bedroom. After a great Xanex induced sleep I will wake up and feel like I am 28 again. :)