Man hole explosions

I avoid man holes and any form of grate in the streets. I thought about it today as i walked around a man hole on the sidewalk.  I do this because i remember the news story of exploding man hole covers in Washington DC. And then there was the guy walking his dog and poor puppy got electrocuted. Ain't that some luck? Just walking along walking the dog or drinking a chia latte and wham-o a man hole cover explodes and kills you. Your poor family would have to explain that one over and over.  So.  Im not taking any chances. I will walk around and let the next brave person walk unknowingly onto peril.

Listen to the rhythm

Today as I drove home I saw the leaves on the trees flipping upside down to show the under side. I think this is one of my most favorite things. When a storm blows through I get excited with anticipation. There is something amazing and hypnotic about a rain storm. When my son was young and storms would roll through Portsmouth, Va. they were loud and strong. Him and I would sit out on the porch and feel the rain spray back up to us as it fell hard on the ground.  Each boom of thunder made us jump a little. I still do the same thing with my daughters. When it began to rain last night, I had to open the window just so I could hear the "rhythm of the falling rain telling me what a fool I've been...". I love to feel the wind blow through my hair and across my face. I love to feel the mist of rain as the beginning of the storm drizzles down on me. There is something romantic and amazing about kissing in the rain or  giving an extended tight embrace.  I love the rain.

Fake is so transparent

I know for A FACT that i am very flawed. I also know that i never have any room to judge or cast stones.  I accept this and try like hell to never ever look down on or judge anyone. It bothers me...ok...pisses me off when i see people look at others situations and speculate that they know what is going on. I am gonna go ahead and speak for us flawed, slightly askew people that are trying to make it through this life. Shove your faux perfect life.  No one has all the answers or the keys to life. We are all trying to muddle through a day to day existence  in search of contentment and happiness. Stop assuming you know so much and have it all together. You're looking in a carnival mirror and seeing a perfect life that is not reality.  Step away and look close at reality...your not so happy or great either.

Im done...im off my soap box ..yeesh...i coulda fallen off and hurt myself. :)

Entitlement

Since your askin...yes, I do think that bleeding from my vagina like a stuck pig DOES give me the right to be bitchy.

Sorry to those i just alienated due to the slap of feminine reality. Truth makes all of us feel uncomfortable sometimes.

To all of my fellow kotex wearers, we should embrace the right to be a tad bit unpleasant during these times...just go with it. Those around us should be thankful that orange jumpsuits look good on no lady.

My drive to work

I have a very long commute into work (about an hour and fifteen minutes). Its a 2 lane road the whole way. I know where every single passing lane is and know how much space needed to blow around cars. It makes me so happy when i am able to pass the slow cars. I get a smile that my car has power and i left the pokey car in my rear view mirror. Its the little things in life.

At the same time....i have a short fuse driving. Im not saying chicken killer crazy playing bumper cars or showing my 9. I simply mean....the words that fall out of my mouth could make a sailor blush. It was brought to my attention this morning as i was taking my teenage daughter to school. Let me explain my case. A car was at a stop sign and she clearly was nervous about pulling out. I felt my blood start to boil. I kept my mouth shut and tried to listen as my baby told me a school related story. The car inched forward like it was gonna go. It was a clear chance to pull out. She didn't pull out. I snapped and in the middle of hearing an innocent story by my baby girl....i yelled "go ya whore". Yeah. Im not proud...but hey...the car pulled out. I turned to my daughter and said " I'm sorry... momma has no filter when driving". Seriously, shes a teenager...I am so so sure shes heard worse. I'm just sure it isn't being referred to an old lady in a Camry by her dear ole mom.

Mouth filter

We all think things and really want to say them but our filter wont let us. The filter is the voice of reason. It says..."yo...that is not cool to say out loud" or "now that is crossing the invisible line ". There are certain lines that when crossed, you can not return from.  Last night, in a frustrated state i made a comment and was fired back on with such anger it left me reeling. It made me remember one of my personal rules...always. second guess kind gestures...it means you owe them something now. A "favor" by definition is: 1. something done or granted out of goodwill, rather than from justice or for remuneration; a kind act and 2. A gift bestowed as a token of kind regard and love. Please don't hold it over a persons head as if they owe you something now. If you offer as kindness, then expect nothing in return even if after 3-4 weeks of waiting for that favor ...they grow impatient.  Its human nature. Turn the tables and put yourself in the other persons shoes. You might see things very differently.

Swedish addiction

Hello, my name is Melissa.. and Im addicted to Swedish Fish.  I had never even heard of a swedish fish until my youngest daughter tried them at the ripe old age of 3.  They quickly became her favorite. Now, I admit, I am a candy junky. I will eat Pop Rocks any day of the week and force anyone around me to hear the crackles and pops. I think it actually annoys most people.. this only fuels the pleasure for me. I love Fun Dip. It's  powder is my heroin. If the stick breaks,I can dump it directly into my mouth. The stick was more of a suggestion than a requirement anyhow. Now.. back to Swedish Fish. I tried to walk away.. I did, I swear. I decide I would only take a couple. Each time I passed the open bag the little fish called to me. I tried to ignore it.. then they winked at me. Curses Swedish Fish and your gummy, sweet goodness! I think I need a rehab. I have red gummy stuck between my teeth and the sugar rush has my heart pounding like a jack-rabbit. I am a junky.. I gotta have another.

Work place etiquette

There should be unwritten rules that a person just knows about working in an office. There should be seminars about these just like the sexual harassement seminars we are all forced to attend yearly. I think the first topic should be about food you cook in the microwave. Certain foods are just NOT ok to heat up. As I just walked to the water cooler I was overwhelmed by a duo of horrible scents. First there was the oh so fragrent smell of obvious broccoli. Then as I walked further down the hall, and closer to my office I was assaulted by the smell of tuna. Really? You HAVE to heat up the tuna in a microwave.. at work? My nose was trying to escape. It was wishing someone would play the childish game of "I got your nose" and really rip it off this time. Suddenly I am not hungry. Maybe its because now someone is heating up a frozen concoction of teryaki , curry and shrimp. Gag

Wolverines!!!!!!

Never blogged and look at me now.. another post. I guess I am  more sheep like than I had previously thought.  does this make me hypocritical? I think not. I choose to see it as I am growing and expanding my horizons at your expense. :)

So, I had a dream last night that I was fighting in a "Red Dawn" type scenario.  I am riding in a truck with my father while he is comparison shopping gas prices.  Upon finding the lowest price, my father threw me out of  a moving truck to distract the Japs (no racism intended... apparently the villans in my dreams were from John Wayne movies). The idea of low priced gas was obviously motive enough to sacrifice his youngest. As I tucked and rolled  into the dark night woods, he yelled for me to go into a cabin and make toast.  Now, I am not a therapist...but I am sure there is a meaning hidden in there somewhere besides that I need to share my drugs. In reality, I don't do drugs nor advocate the use of anything illegal. All of my drugs are legally prescribed to me by a licensed professional.

I woke up craving toast.

Blogging - Day 1

Ok. I am being forced into the world of blogging by my sweet and loving family. I don't blog, never have and I don't even really get the draw to it all. I also don't "tweet " for the same reason. I don't think the world wants to know that I am eating a buffalo chicken sub. I really consider it that I am saving you from an over dose of mediocrity.  No offense to the previous bloggers that blazed the way but, I have always viewed it as um a kinda flashy "look at me"tactic. I have issues with anyone that looks at me. Suddenly I feel exposed.

Glimpse in my mind: Oh no.. now they are all looking at me. Do they think that I think I am the shit? Do they see that I have a crooked smile? Shit, is something in my teeth? Wait, am I staring at her boobs...oh God I hope no one noticed. Are they still looking at me? Fuck, is my skirt stuck in my panties? Do they notice I'm nervous? Did he just laugh at me or was it with me? Did I even say anything funny? Have I stood here long enough to not be labeled a weird-o and can now hide behind the curtains?

This is the sad but true reality that is in my mind for being watched. But, I have a voice and a pretty unusual opinion on things. I haven't always been understood. But today, I will begin to write down some of my crazy thoughts. Im gonna throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. If it does.. then its ready.